How My Village People Almost Married Me Off — Because I Brought a Girl Home

If you’re a Nigerian man between 25 and 35, and you dare take a woman home — even if she’s just your friend — prepare to write wedding vows.

Because once Nigerian aunties see you with a girl, they will start wedding planning immediately.

Let me tell you how I almost got married without knowing.

🛻 Chapter 1: Journey to the East

This last Christmas, I travelled home to Enugu with one of my closest friends, Chioma. She had nowhere to go, and I didn’t want her to spend the holidays alone in Lagos — I’m not a wicked man.

We’ve been friends for years. No dating, no kissing, no holding hands. Just pure “how far” and “you dey chop?” friendship.

Biggest mistake of my life.

🏠 Chapter 2: Enter the Aunties

The moment we entered my compound, my mother smiled like she just won a visa lottery. My aunties came out one by one like they were auditioning for a Nollywood remake of The Bachelor.

• “She’s beautiful o!”
• “Fine girl! Igbo girls still dey!”
• “Is this your fiancée?”
• “She looks responsible. She dey cook?”

Before I could say “We’re just friends,” my uncle had already called my father:

“Chuka don bring wife home o!”

🍲 Chapter 3: From Girlfriend to “Our Wife”

By Day 2, Chioma was in the kitchen pounding yam. I didn’t send her o! She just said “make I help small.” That was her second mistake.

By Day 3, my mum asked her what month she wants to do her traditional wedding. 😳

Chioma looked at me like, “You better say something before I faint.”

I told everyone the truth: “She’s just my friend.”

Dead silence.

Then my aunt said:

“You see why you’re still single? You have a good girl and you’re wasting her!”

😭 Chapter 4: Return to Lagos

When we returned to Lagos, Chioma said:
“Next time, don’t carry me to your village unless you’re ready to pay bride price.”

I haven’t travelled home with any girl since.

✅ Moral of the story:

• Don’t carry any woman home unless you want to plan a wedding.
• Nigerian parents don’t understand the concept of “just friends.”
• Once she enters the kitchen, it’s over. They’ve claimed her.
• Your village people are always ready to call in the elders.

#NaijaWahala #VillagePeople #JustFriends #FamilyPressure #NigerianParents #IgboWeddingLoading #EChoke