How I Got Robbed and Promoted on the Same Day – Lagos is Not Real Life

You know how people always say, “Lagos will humble you”? I used to laugh. I thought it was just vibes and exaggeration.

Until last Friday.

My people, gather round. Let me tell you how one city gave me trauma and blessing within 12 hours.

🌅 6:30 AM — The Day Starts Well

I woke up happy.

That morning, my boss had messaged me:

"Be in the office by 8 AM. Board wants to speak with you."

I was lowkey thinking, “Shebi this is finally the promotion I've been praying for?” I ironed my shirt like I was going for presidential screening. Sprayed perfume that cost more than my rent. Took my best shoe out of the nylon. No be small preparation.

🚗 7:15 AM — En Route to VI

I booked a Bolt. The driver said his AC is “bad small but e dey work.” Cool.

Then, just after CMS bridge — boom — traffic like we were auditioning for Fast & Frustrated: Lagos Drift Edition.

While we’re crawling, two guys on a bike appear from nowhere. One of them knocks the window. I turn. He shows me a very convincing cutlass and calmly says:

"Oga give us everything make we no wound you."

Everything in me left my body. I gave them my phone, wallet, and power bank. Even my gala. 😭 They thanked me and zoomed off like delivery guys in a rush.

😵 8:05 AM — I Arrive Office, Shaking

I reach the office looking like someone that just escaped from one Nollywood ritual movie. No phone. No wallet. No dignity.

My boss looks at me and says,
"Are you okay?"
I say, "Yes sir. Slight delay."

He says, "Good. The board just confirmed — you’re now Lead Strategist. Congratulations!"

I smiled like a fool.
I got promoted the same day I got robbed.

Lagos gave and Lagos took. Same day.

So if you ever feel like you’re losing your mind in this city — you probably are. But it’s normal.

Lagos no dey follow rules.

💡 Moral of the story:

• Always carry your ID card in your socks (you never know).
• Lagos traffic is not your friend.
• Promotions come, phones go — such is life in this great jungle.
• Also, maybe... just maybe, thank God in advance before leaving the house.

#LagosLife #NaijaWahala #EChoke #PromotionVsRobbery #OnlyInNigeria #SurvivingLagos #RealNaijaStory